I have not wrote in a very long time. we have been though a lot since i last posted. loosing Connor was the most devastating thing to have happened to us. then that next April we found out that we were expecting again and i was so scared. i had started working a part time job and my fibro had defiantly been bothering me more. may 18 i went to work like normal and wasnt feeling very well. i got home and started having some cramping and minor bleeding. the cramps got worse so i went to the er where we lost yet another baby. that was my lowest low i knew right then that i needed to do things differently and get my body in shape in hopes that we could one day soon expand our family. i weighed 174 pounds in may and that is when i started my weight loss journey. that summer i worked, in pain and managed to loose 26 pounds. after about 6 months of working we decided that the pain and stress that my job was causing was no longer worth any amount of money. we started trying again for another baby and the first negative test was crushing. we went to the dr to talk about my health and if my fibro and endometreosis had anything to do with loosing babies and not getting pregnant. my dr had lots of hope for us and told us to keep trying for a few more months and if nothing then to come back and see him to make a plan. little did we know we were expecting at that very appointment! we found out about 2 weeks later. i was scared and anxious and happy all at once. this was the beginning of yet another scary venture for us. I am now 27 weeks pregnant with a very healthy little girl and we couldnt be happier. after lots of research and lots of debating we have decided that it will be best to schedule another c section. out little rainbow will be arriving on June 12 unless she decides to come on her own sooner. Amelia Grace will be her name. i am still scared every single day but feeling her dance and stretch inside only makes me feel reassurance that this is Gods plan for us. she will be here soon and she will be healthy. praying and God has kept me going through all of this. i also do not know what i would do without my son Liam. he is me saving grace! he will never fully understand what he has done for us. this has defiantly been my hardest pregnancy yet and will probably be my last unless God has some other plans for us. my body just isnt what it used to be and im in a lot of pain daily. i have been doing physical therapy for my hips but its not really making anything better. today is my last appointment so i need to make sure and keep doing my stretches and exercises at home. my diet has defiantly gotten off track as this little girl wants sweets all of the time haha. i make sure and stay away from my fibro and my migraine trigger foods still. once she gets here i will be eating like last summer and will start working out again so that i can get healthy again so that i can physically be the best mom that i can be.